An Untold Story

I walked to where Uncle Axel was sitting and said ‘What happened to Sophie? What will they have done to her?’ I was curious and it was stuck with me, the moment when my father opened the door and said ‘they got them – all three of them’. I could not forget and I had to understand what they had done to my very best friend. It was only a small thing, just an extra toe, it can’t have been that bad.

Uncle Axel responded after giving it some thought, ‘Davie, I honestly couldn’t tell you, I wouldn’t want to mislead you.’ He paused and thought on the matter, ‘You know, I used to sail on a boat on the seas and I used to see strange things out there and I have never told anyone about the things I saw.’ He paused again, wondering whether he could tell me of the things he saw when he was a sailor. ‘David,’ he told me seriously, ‘you mustn’t tell anyone of what I tell you now.’ I nodded. ‘I was a sailor, a good one at that. I was like you, I was curious, I wanted to know why the mutants were the devils creation,’ he paused, ‘I didn’t understand why having different features to the ‘norm’ would make you a creation of evil.’ He explained –

I went too far, I went to a place where the land was black. My curiosity took me there. I moored my ship, I stood and looked across the vast blackened land. At first I didn’t notice the creatures, I only noticed the great mountain that left the land in shadows. It was a place of nightmares, it had, however, a strange beauty about it. Then, I noticed them, the creatures. They barely resembled a human. They’re bodies were covered in hair, they were short, half the size of a human. They had long arms, in proportion to their bodies, they dragged along the ground. However, almost the most striking thing about the creatures was their piercing blue eyes. Everything else about them was black or dull but their blue eyes drew you in. It felt like they looked right through you, right into your soul. There were no trees in this place, there was nothing. Nothing but the creatures, the mountain and the black sky.

‘Davie, ever since that day I haven’t been sure about the mutants. I never know what to think. However, it has almost convinced me that some things, some creatures, are of the devils creation.’ He looked far away, ‘Does that mean I am of the devils creation and I am a mutant?’ I asked. ‘No, I don’t know, I don’t see how anyone with a mutation can be of the devils creation, I don’t see how we will ever know,’ he paused again and took a deep breath, ‘all I know is that that place was of the devils creation.’

This was the day I ran…


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One response to “An Untold Story”

  1. dryslic Avatar
    dryslic

    A well constructed and told beginning. I like how you echo phrases from the book, “only a small thing, just an extra toe”, little things that lend an air of authenticity to your work. I’m with Chris in thinking that you could experiment with how much you tell us about Axel as he talks. Remember Hemingway and his icebergs.. I look forward to hearing you read this. Well done. J

    “I went too far, I went to a place where the land was black”, fine sentence.

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